Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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