Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
