check it out our google latitudes are spooning
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
