its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
