i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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