Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
