Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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