If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
