You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
