TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
