I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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