I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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