Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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