forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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