Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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