Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
