What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
