oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
