Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
