Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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