and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
