Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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