I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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