he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
love makes seman taste better
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
