carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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