So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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