Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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