Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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