Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
