I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
