Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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