Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
