And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
