That's intense
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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