can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
