Fuck appropriateness.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
