They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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