I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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