Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
