well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
