idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
