I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
