Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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