all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And then he peed in my hair
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