Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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