i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
