My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
