Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
