Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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