bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
