Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
