Just mADE A PArabola og urine
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
be right there i have to get my cape
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
