I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
