Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
