i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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